THIS IS WHAT TAKING YOUR POWER BACK LOOKS LIKE

I would like to thank my ex-husband for teaching me more about myself than anyone before him or after him.

He taught me how to be alone.

How to be happy without the attention or approval of a man.

He taught me the absolute limits of my tolerance — I mean, I saw the very edge of my existence.

No one has tested me more or pushed me further.

No one has stretched the limits of my patience quite like he did.

He taught me that not everyone has my best interests at heart, even when I have theirs at heart

He taught me that not everyone thinks like I do, and I have to be aware of that.

He taught me what I’m capable of when pushed.

How much tenacity lives inside me.

That I carry a kind of magic in my soul — a magic that others always saw in spades, even while he tried to dim it.

And here’s what I’ve learned about responsibility:

Taking responsibility in a relationship doesn’t mean taking blame or guilt.

It doesn’t even mean taking responsibility for the end of the relationship or why the relationship didn’t work.

Sometimes taking responsibility simply means taking responsibility for the lessons you learn.

For what you carry forward.

For how you evolve.

It means taking responsibility for not becoming bitter.

For continuing to live a beautiful, fearless life even when you’re afraid.

It means taking responsibility for your healing, and refusing to keep living inside your trauma.

It means taking responsibility for your positive outlook on life and others.

And so, this is my dedication:

To the man who showed me everything I was not meant to be…

so I could finally see everything I was.

Thank you for the lessons I didn’t want but got anyway.

Thank you for the fire that forged me.

Thank you for the woman I became in spite of—and because of—you.

I owe you nothing, but I honor what you gave me.

This chapter is mine now.

I’ll be taking it from here.