Affirmations – Why they work. How to use them.
Aren’t Affirmations Just Modern-Day Hocus Pocus?
Cheesy. Cringey.
Let’s just say it out loud together. “Oh Brother”
When some people hear “affirmations,” they picture someone whispering to a houseplant, burning incense and clothed in a suspicious amount of linen. Fair. But here’s a question. If something sounds a little cheesy… what’s actually wrong with that? Couldn’t we all use a little more cheese in our lives? Affirmations aren’t spells. And we’ve seen them work long before anyone slapped a self-help label on them.
The Movie Moment We All Remember
In The Help, the nanny Aibileen Clark looks at a little girl and says:
“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
That’s an affirmation.
She says it to shape that little girl’s identity in an environment that will surely try to twist her. But here’s the powerful part. Every time she says those words, she hears them too. And you can feel it. The strength isn’t just pouring into the child. It’s reinforcing the woman saying it. Affirmations aren’t just something you say. They’re something that changes the whole way you think.
The Slightly Science-y Part (Stay With Me)
Your brain is like a dramatic podcast host with a flair for worst-case scenarios. Left alone, it will happily replay:
- The awkward thing you said in 2009
- Every mistake you’ve ever made
- The possibility that you secretly know you’re a fraud
It adds commentary. It heightens the tension. It loops the most embarrassing highlight reel like it’s investigative journalism. Affirmations interrupt that broadcast.
Here’s how. Your brain builds pathways based on repetition. Picture tall grass. Walk the same trail enough times and you get a clear path. Keep walking it, and suddenly it’s the obvious route. Negative self-talk? That’s a six-lane freeway. A new affirmation? At first, it’s a skinny little footpath. But repetition widens the trail.
This is neuroplasticity. Which is just a big word for a hopeful concept: Your brain can change. When you repeat a thought intentionally, especially out loud, you’re training your focus.
Your brain is like a rebellious teenager who gripes and complains about the family trip, but later talks about it like it was the best time of their life. It resists at first. Then it adapts. Then it embraces the story.
My Story With Affirmations
There was a season of my life that felt like I was at war. I was in an intensive outpatient treatment program. I didn’t feel strong. I didn’t feel brave. I felt like I was barely holding myself together. That’s where I first heard the suggestion: Write your affirmation on your bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker. Look at it. Say it out loud. It felt awkward, but I wrote: I am a warrior. Not because I felt like one. Because I needed to become one. Every morning, it stared back at me while I brushed my teeth.
Some days I whispered it. Some days I cried through it. Some days I screamed it through grit teeth.
But I said it.
And slowly, something shifted. I started making decisions like someone who believed she was worth fighting for. I kept showing up. I kept pushing.
Years later, I even tattooed a warrior phrase on my arm. Not as decoration. As a reminder. A battle scar.
The words came first. The strength followed.
How to Use Them Without Feeling Ridiculous
- Make it personal. If it resonates, it sticks.
- Keep it present tense. “I am capable.” “I am steady.” “I am a warrior.”
- If one hits, keep it. You do not have to switch affirmations like socks. If you find one that resonates, use it over and over again. Let it soak in. Let it root.
- Say it out loud. Your own voice carries weight in your nervous system.
- Put it where you’ll see it. Bathroom mirror. Car dashboard. Phone lock screen.
Repetition matters more than novelty.
Affirmations aren’t magic. They’re mental trainers. They strengthen thought patterns the way repetition strengthens muscles. And if they feel a little cheesy?
Pass the cheese, please.
If a simple sentence can interrupt your brain’s dramatic broadcast and help you fight for yourself a little harder, that’s not hocus pocus.
That’s what makes you unstoppable.
